so, i was looking through VERY old documents and came across this little gem. i remember writing this when i was an intern in 2006. i thought i'd share. i know it's nothing NEW and UPDATED, but i think you'll still enjoy it. and please overlook and forgive the hideous cliches.
:: john eight ::
I sat in the midst of burning eyes. So many people. They all listened to the beating of my terrified heart. I could not lift my gaze to meet the stares, especially His. It was as if He saw everything, knew everything. My appearance confessed it all. Dark hair hung over my face covered in tear stains and shame. Dirty, tattered rags hung loosely around me. A rough hand gripped my arm with the same hard jolt that tore me from the darkness. He led me to the One who had been teaching these hungry hearts. I had heard of this man, His words, His miracles, His claims. Son of God. King of the Jews. I felt His eyes break into the deepest corners of my filthy soul. It was as if I had known Him since first breath.
One of them behind me came forward. He had witnessed my capturing. He hissed between his teeth, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act.” The words pierced my entire being. I bit my lip. Blood. The taste of fear flooded my mouth. Whispers rose from the sea of people. Waves of rumors and judgment echoed. Tears poured, washing the dirt from my face. I watched one fall onto holy ground.
“Now Moses in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned,” the voice aimed at the One before me, “but what do You say?” The ocean was still. Every eye rested on this man, and my life in His hands. My gaze fell hard on rough stones between white knuckles. Their grip tightened. I imagined the pain, the breaking, the death. Mercy. Have mercy. He said nothing. No one dared to speak nor I to breathe. We followed His every movement as he stooped to the ground. Exhale.
With his finger, he started to write so carelessly in the dirt. Aleph. What was He doing? The ocean grew restless. Vav. My eyes followed every stroke. Zayin. Lists grew. “Teacher, please answer us.” “Teacher, the Torah…” Kaf. Waves roared. “This woman is to be stoned!” Daled. He stood.
Silence.
“He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw at her.” That voice ripped through me. Again, he stooped and, with the same finger, wrote again. What were they to do? They were men. Sinful, hearts heavy with rags just as filthy as mine.
One stone dropped behind me. The silence was broken. I looked to him as He continued writing. Another dropped beside me. Another, then another. The sound of freedom. Soon, only cold, hard stones surrounded me.
He rose. “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” His words poured over me. I lifted my eyes to His for the first time. I saw life.
With a shaky voice, I replied, “No one Lord.”
“I do not condemn you either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
I dropped to His feet and wept. Speechless I remained until those few left picked me up and led me away. Alive. Breathing. New.
I stood around the corner, listening to His words as He turned to the crowds.
“I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.”
I will follow. I will follow.
Deep cried out to deep in whispers, “Your holiness is what gets me, leaves me breathless, motionless. Pure, blameless, unstained, unspotted by the dirt of this world. Holy. I dare not place myself next to you. Rags. Filthy, torn, stained and worthless rags…at the very least. I should not try and excuse them. I should not try and wash them myself. Instead, I shall see Your garments and how they need no excuse, and I shall desire the feeling of holiness on my shoulders, covering my entire being. Yes. I desire your garments, dripping white. Beautiful they are.”
