you know those days...

where you just feel so stifled? like there's this aliveness inside you, bubbling through your veins, and trying to poke its wings out... but you, you have to be the one to close the cage and lock it tight with your back against the door, or else it would shake itself loose and you would just end up running really fast... towards no particular direction at all?

where you just want FREEDOM

today has definitely been one of those days. more like.... this YEAR has been one of those YEARS. the last thing i want to see in front of me is a metal mesh cup full of highlighters and sharpies, a pile of post-its with to-do lists, a desk phone that neverrrrr stops blinking and men in stiff business suits and ties...

[someone please rescuuuuuue me!!!]

i'm all too often tempted to push these images over... convinced they are made of cardboard and are utterly and completely fake ...and this was all a [very] cruel joke.

..like the last thing you want to be doing with your life is what you ARE doing with your life?

the realization that dawned in mid-woe was this: i was not made for this.

seriously. i was not created to sit behind a desk, answer phones, typetypetypetyppeee for 8hrs a day... 40 hrs a week... 2080hrs a year (that's a total of 86.67 ENTIRE DAYS a year) to make a livinggg so i can survivvvve!!

ok. maybe i'm being a little dramatic....???

but in all REALITY i was made to live in a garden. vibrant and eternal. to know and be known. untainted by sin and brokenness. fully alive. never seeing death. where people saw and walked with God, unashamed of their nakedness.

it's the longing for eden. it's what my heart aches for.

novemburrrrr.

it. is. freezing. outside.

ok. i understand my texas blood doesn't give my words much weight

on the issue of winter weather...

but

today was a "can't get warm on your 30-min drive to work"

kind of day. and although i ADORE all the cute

scarves&mittens&boots&hats

i haaaaate missouri winters.

last year, my drives to work were spent 90% in tears.

so, you can imagine my enthusiasm.

....

i did get to spend last weekend in lawrence, ks.

and stumbled upon THIS little gem:

a bookstore called "the dusty bookshelf."

looooved it!!! there was even a little cat running around,

snoozing on all the open shelves and comfy chairs :)

p.s. i fly home in TWENTY SIX days.

i was going to try & express my excitement in words....

but after six failed attempts at even coming within 50 miles of how i truly feel...

i decided the news was good enough.